We all have bad and good days. But still, there is an attitude in our society that answer to the question “ How are you?” Should be “I am fine”. So often we answer to it even without thinking “I am good”, "I am Okay”... But are you really Okay?
Lessons I learned from my own experience being in a dark place:
It’s Okay Not to be Okay;
Everything comes and goes in your life;
Take time out just for Yourself;
Self Love and Self Care;
And it’s Okay to ask for help;
Not sure what's really happening at the moment, maybe 2020 hit with transforming energy wave for a lot of us but looks like so many people around really struggling in their lives. Myself Included.
In the last couple of months going through grey days, I came to the point to share with you about this topic. We love talking about success and happy things but the reality is, there is more than that. For all of those who are going through storms, I just want to say "You are not alone". I am sharing my experience because I understand how lonely it feels and sometimes we think it will never end.
Yoga teacher's journey
Being a yoga teacher I feel so much pressure from the outside world to be positive, happy and smiling all the time. If I am sad, angry, negative or depressed, I get a reaction from people: “How it's possible you are not okay? You are a yoga teacher.” Does it mean I am not a human being anymore? Sometimes I think people imagine yoga teachers like superheroes flying around enlightened and shining just positivity.
Of course, I can say the knowledge and practice of Yoga and Meditation made my dark days smoother, but sometimes to learn and grow within, we need to pass the storms so light can enter.
Now I feel I am slowly coming back to myself, but sometimes it is still wavy like a sea. Some days it feels my emotional "ME" synchronized with nature and becomes the same as the weather in Oludeniz. From crazy windy storms and total darkness without electricity to smooth cloudy warm days or even clear blue sky with bright sunshine and blooming trees around.
I believe in life's storms, some big shifts and transformations happening behind the scenes which our minds can’t understand yet. We are still in an old belief system, imagining how life "Should" be. When it's not coming the way we expect, we feel stuck and scared. It brings us pain, shame, anger, and suffering.
A lot of us believe and live in an illusion about “ and happy ever after…” and not just about relationships, but everything in our life. We live in the future hoping "one day" will come and we will be finally happy and everything will be finally good, but let's be honest if it's really will happen?!
We all have the same goal. We just want to be happy and mostly all the time it means "feeling good". In reality, it's no possible all the time to be okay. Life is a journey full of ups and downs, giving us all spectrum of colours. Just imagine feeling good all the time. How then will you grow as a person? How will you know what is good if you don’t have any bad days?
We put ourselves under so much pressure to live an imaginary life and expect life to be the way it should be.
Acceptance
The truth is, first of all, we are all humans. We all have good and bad days, we all learning from our different life experiences about ourselves and life. A goal is to learn to accept whatever comes into your life with calmness. Making yourself stressed that you are not okay, will not make your life better. Acceptance is the key - it's okay not to be okay. The biggest lessons I learned during my storms.
Practicing Yoga for years now in my life, really helped me when I was feeling down. I knew also it all has a positive side, and after the storm, I will be stronger, I will learn what I have to learn to grow and move on. The Yoga philosophy says that life is like breathing, everything comes and goes. It helped to be more balanced and taught me my other big lesson - take time for yourself.
Let yourself rest a little bit from everything and not be okay without judging yourself. Have time just for you, let yourself sleep more or even do nothing. Take care of Yourself. You are important. Start finally truly loving Yourself. Just stop for a moment and ask simple questions: “ What do I need?”, “What truly makes me happy?”, “Am I really on the right path in my life?”
And take all the time you need to understand what is the best for you. It's not selfish as some people would say, it's called Self love and Self care.
Our Mental health is just as important as physical health, and there is no any shame to talk about it. Remember that there are always some loving and caring people around who truly care about You. The worst thing about being in darkness is the feeling you are alone, but you not. First of all, there are many people who are in same place as you. Nowadays it is much easier to find a community out there and reach out. To ask for help and support is Okay. We don't need to go through all of this alone. Maybe you now feel no one will understand, but you will be surprised how supportive people can be.
Or go and ask for professional help. It doesn't mean you are "crazy", you are just taking care of yourself. It is the same if you break your leg you go to see the doctor because you need to heal it. You need help because you can't do it yourself. Sometimes we need help to heal our broken soul. Remember It's Okay not To be Okay. You are not Alone.
In the next Blog Post, I will share What helped Me To go through Dark Days...Keep Tuned and subscribe to Newsletters.
Note: English is not my mother tongue language. I did my best to express myself correctly in English. It is possible some parts can be maybe not so clear for native English speakers or with some grammar mistakes, but all are written from the heart and I hope you will get the idea.
Love and Light
"Yoga with Eagle"